Oh! Gandhi

One who put Mahatma before Gandhi murdered Gandhi

What you are?

What you want to be is the right identity of yours as you are changing every second.

It won't be possible

"Will" almost always hurts exploration of truth in assertive statements other than maths.

Blast Government

Government isn't 3rd person its first person. So, Instead blaming try doing something.

Under Construction

Localize the problem Generalize the solution.

Quotes: I think I must not write the Explanation

Explanations make the quote book baggy, non-creative and dull.

Mouth and Hands

Shiksheet Samaj

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Education is right for everybody. In JNU, we have to acknowledge, there are many who do not have such privileges. Would you like to give avail them as if their right, as if their need, as if your nation's need, as if our need of having educated society. Please do not leave everything on government or its agencies. And if you want to leave it to government or its agencies then think is goverment third person or first person.

For not being over enthusiastic, I tried it my own and I found that its a really energetic experience. Please approach them, ask them, force them emotionally (if necessary) for their education. It needs your help because not a single can stay here for long in the campus but you will be as a whole. I suppose we can bring the change.

"आकाश मे चाँद कि जरुरत होती है लेकिन यदि तारे ना हो तो दिया तले अन्धेरा ही रहेगा"

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Kudos to Duo

Father and son!!
Rickshaw-Puller and IAS
and the stories...
(click on the photograph to know more)

River Goddess for Software Engineer

Once upon a time, there was a software engineer who used to develop programs on his Pentium machine, sitting under a tree on the banks of a river. He used to earn his bread by selling those programs in the Sunday market.

One day, while he was working, his machine tumbled off the table and fell in the river. Encouraged by the Panchatantra story of his childhood (the woodcutter and the axe ), He started praying to the River Goddess. The River Goddess wanted to test him and so appeared only after one month of rigorous prayers. The engineer told her that he had lost his computer in the river.

As usual, the Goddess wanted to test his honesty. She showed him a match box and asked, " Is this your computer ?" Disappointed by the Goddess' lack of computer awareness, the engineer replied, " No."

She next showed him a pocket-sized calculator and asked if that was his.

Annoyed, the engineer said "No, not at all!!"

Finally, she came up with his own Pentium machine and asked if it was his.

The engineer, left with no option, sighed and said " Yes."

The River Goddess was happy with his honesty. She was about to give Him all three items, but before she could make the offer, the engineer

Asked her, "Don't you know that you're supposed to show me some better computers before bringing up my own ?"

The River Goddess, angered at this, replied, "I know that, you stupid donkey!
The first two things I showed you were the Trillennium and the Billennium, the latest computers!". So saying, she disappeared with the Pentium!!

********
Moral :I think, you might better assume. Even then I sum it up like ...
If you're not up-to-date with technology trends , it's better to keep yourself honest or
your mouth shut and let people think you're a fool than to open your mouth and
remove all doubt. :)
*******

Does Hell Endothermic or Exothermic

The following is an actual question given on a University of Washington chemistry mid-term exam. The answer by one student was so "profound" that the professor shared it with colleagues, via the Internet, which is, of course, why we now have the pleasure of enjoying it as well.
Here is the "Bonus Question" on the exam:
Is Hell exothermic (gives off heat) or endothermic (absorbs heat)?
Most of the students wrote proofs of their beliefs using Boyle's Law (gas cools when it expands and heats when it is compressed) or some variant.
One student, however, wrote the following:
First, we need to know how the mass of Hell is changing in time. So we need to know the rate at which souls are moving into Hell and the rate at which they are leaving. I think that we can safely assume that once a soul gets to Hell, it will not leave. Therefore, no souls are leaving. As for how many souls are entering Hell, let's look at the different Religions that exist in the world today. Most of these religions state that if you are not a member of their religion, you will go to Hell. Since there are more than one of these religions and since people do not belong to more than one religion, we can project that all souls go to Hell. With birth and death rates as they are, we can expect the number of souls in Hell to increase exponentially.
Now, we look at the rate of change of the volume in Hell because Boyle's Law states that in order for the temperature and pressure in Hell to stay the same, the volume of Hell has to expand proportionately as souls are added.
This gives two possibilities:
1.. If Hell is expanding at a slower rate than the rate at which souls enter Hell, then the temperature and pressure in Hell will increase until all Hell breaks loose.
2.. If Hell is expanding at a rate faster than the increase of souls in Hell, then the temperature and pressure will drop until Hell freezes over.
So which is it?
If we accept the postulate given to me by Teresa (a girlfriend of mine during my Freshman year) that, "it will be a cold day in Hell before I sleep with you", and take into account the fact that I slept with her last night, then number 2 must be true, and thus I am sure that Hell is Exothermic and has already frozen over.
The corollary of this theory is that since Hell has frozen over, it follows that it is not accepting any more souls and is therefore, extinct...leaving only Heaven thereby proving the existence of a divine being which explains why, last night, Teresa kept shouting "Oh my God."
THIS STUDENT RECEIVED THE ONLY "A."

The Child's confession

Little Bobby came into the kitchen where his mother was making dinner.
His birthday was coming up and he thought this was a good time to tell his mother what he wanted.
"Mom, I want a bike for my birthday." Little Bobby was a bit of a troublemaker.
He had gotten into trouble at school and at home. Bobby's mother asked him if he thought he deserved to get a bike for his birthday. Little Bobby, of course, thought he did.
Bobby's mother wanted Bobby to reflect on his behavior over the last year.
"Go to your room, Bobby, and think about how you have behaved this year.
Then write a letter to God and tell him why you deserve a bike for your birthday." Little Bobby stomped up the steps to his room and sat down to write God a letter.
Letter 1
Dear God,
I have been a very good boy this year and I would like a bike for my birthday. I want a red one.
Your friend,
Bobby
Bobby knew that this wasn't true. He had not been a very good boy this year, so he tore up the letter and started over.
Letter 2
Dear God,
This is your friend Bobby. I have been a good boy this year and I would like a red bike for my birthday.
Thank you.
Your friend Bobby
Bobby knew that this wasn't true either. So, he tore up the letter and started again.
Letter 3
Dear God,
I have been an "OK "boy this year. I still would really like a bike for my birthday.
Bobby
Bobby knew he could not send this letter to God either. So, Bobby wrote a fourth letter.
Letter 4
God,
I know I haven't been a good boy this year. I am very sorry. I will be a good boy if you just send me a bike for my birthday. Please!
Thank you,
Bobby
Bobby knew, even if it was true, this letter was not going to get him a bike.


Now, Bobby was very upset. He went downstairs and told his mom that he wanted to go to church. Bobby's mother thought her plan had worked, as Bobby looked very sad.
"Just be home in time for dinner," Bobby's mother told him.

Bobby walked down the street to the church on the corner. Little Bobby went into the church and up to the altar. He looked around to see if anyone was there. Bobby bent down and picked up a statue of the Mary. He slipped the statue under his shirt and ran out of the church, down the street, into the house, and up to his room. He shut the door to his room and sat down with a piece of paper and a pen. Bobby began to write his letter to God.


Letter 5
God,
I'VE KIDNAPPED YOUR MAMA. IF YOU WANT TO SEE HER AGAIN, SEND THE BIKE!!!!!!!!!!

Women's Desire

Young King Arthur was ambushed and imprisoned by the monarch of a
neighboring kingdom. The monarch could have killed him but was moved by
Arthur's youth and ideals. So, the monarch offered him his freedom, as long
as he could answer a very difficult question. Arthur would have a year to
figure out the answer and, if after a year, he still had no answer, he
would be put to death.

The question was: What do women really want ?

Such a question would perplex even the most knowledgeable man, and to young
Arthur, it seemed an impossible query. But, since it was better than death,
he accepted the monarch's proposition to have an answer by year's end.

He returned to his kingdom and began to poll everyone: the princess, the
priests,the wise men, and even the court jester. He spoke with everyone,
but no one could give him a satisfactory answer.

Many people advised him to consult the old witch, for only she would have
the answer. But the price would be high as the witch was famous through out
the kingdom for the exorbitant prices she charged.

The last day of the year arrived and Arthur had no choice but to talk to
the witch. She agreed to answer the question, but he would have to agree to
her price first.

The old witch wanted to marry Sir Lancelot, the most noble of the Knights
of the Round Table, and Arthur's closest friend!

Young Arthur was horrified. She was hunch-backed and hideous, had only one
tooth, smelled like sewage, made obscene noises, etc. He had never
encountered such a repugnant creature in all his life.

He refused to force his friend to marry her and endure such a terrible
burden, but Lancelot, having learnt of the proposal, spoke with Arthur. He
said nothing was too big of a sacrifice compared to Arthur's life and the
preservation of the Round Table.

Hence, a wedding was proclaimed and the witch answered Arthur's question
thus: "What a woman really wants," she said, "is to be in charge of her own
life."

Everyone in the kingdom instantly knew that the witch had uttered a great
truth and that Arthur's life would be spared. And so it was, the
neighboring monarch granted Arthur his freedom and Lancelot and the witch
had a wonderful wedding.

The honeymoon hour approached and Lancelot, steeling himself for a horrific
experience, entered the bed room. But, what a sight awaited him. The most
beautiful woman he had ever seen, lay before him on the bed.

The astounded Lancelot asked what had happened. The beauty replied that
since he had been so kind to her when she appeared as a witch, she would
henceforth be her horrible and deformed self only half the time and the
beautiful maiden the other half.

"Which would you prefer? she asked him. "Beautiful during the day ... or
at night?"

Lancelot pondered the predicament. During the day he could have a beautiful
woman to show off to his friends, but at night, in the privacy of his
castle, an old witch!

Or,

Would he prefer having a hideous witch during the day, but by night a
beautiful woman for him to enjoy wonderous, intimate moments with?

(If you are a man reading this ...) What would YOUR choice be?







(If you are a woman reading this ..) What would YOUR MAN'S choice be?




What Lancelot chose is below.


BUT ... make YOUR choice before you scroll down below........OK??


Noble Lancelot, knowing the answer the witch gave Arthur to his question,
said that he would allow HER to make the choice herself.

Upon hearing this, she announced that she would be beautiful all the time
because he had respected her enough to let her be in charge of her own
life.



Now ... what is the moral to this story?

The moral is ..

1) If you don't let a woman have her own way, things are going to get ugly.

2) There is witch in every woman no matter how beautiful she is!!

3) There is a Beautiful heart in every woman no matter even if shes a
witch!!

A Meet to a Landlord

Bhudhapa mein akalapan kya kya na karwaye

When I went to Chandan's room for taking my luggage after office...

I reached to Chandan's room after walking an hour for flat in sector 14, Gurgoan. I was too much tired and felt sleepy. Since I reached there when there were nobody ie. Neither Chandan nor his roommate(Suraj). I rang the bell of there floor but no response. Then I asked to the landlord to open the gate for me...

Me : uncle open the gate.

Landlord : (said) nobody there.

Me (assuming that landlord is asking that is there nobody) : yes there is nobody plz open the door.

(after opening the door)

Landlord : who u are?

Me : friend of Chandan, I mean brother(cousin).

Landlord(angering) : usually I don't allow such entrances.

Me : uncle I'm to take my luggage only.

Landlord(annoyingly) : okay get your luggage and then go.

Landlord : what about the keys?

Landlord : do you have?

Me : yes, I've.

Landlord : (mumbling) how he can give his keys..Very irresponsible...

I went upstairs and took the luggage and get down.

Me : uncle I'm going. So close the gate.

Landlord :how will you return the keys.

Me ("Hadbadate hue"): now I'm going to his office and there I hand over the key.

Landlord : hey come here, I've allowed you as if you have asked to just to take luggage otherwise do you think I should allow. What you would do at your home in such condition, do you allow? Tell me... Tell me.

Me (thinking "kya chat ta hai") : No, uncle but I've to take my luggage, I'm going.

Landlord : I have seen you earlier that's why I have allowed you.

Me (when he will leave me): Thank you uncle.

Landlord : come here you would be having his mobile no. Call him now.

Me (okay I will not let him talk to Chandan or anyone else, Suraj): uncle his mobile is there in the room, I have just seen.

Landlord : okay then try his land-line.

Me : this is the card, you can try.

after trying ....

Landlord : its not working out.

Me : oh! Uncle I forgot to tell you that his workplace has been changed.

Landlord :okay then give him keys and tell him to talk to me.

Me : okay uncle.

rushed out of that house as soon as possible....

...And went into Ashish-Vivek's room.

A Day with Friend's Family

Yesterday, it's my holiday and I went to Chandan's room. His father, mother, sister and brother was there. I reached there the day before yesterday. Now I had 2 nights and a complete day with all of them except Chandan. The first night went without too much of incidences. And now the next day, I was there. In the morning I went to Vivek's room as my luggage was there and I'm to get ready. Vivek's elder brother asked me to have food with them and I thought I'll take little and then go to Chandan's room. Well when I reached after 4 hrs (Chandan's) his brother asked me for food and I said him yes. I thought he has not taken food and I can take with him. But after food served to me it come to my knowledge that he has had. Well I took. After this episode my hunger goes too far to catch it anyway. But since they are from Bihar and I'm from Rajasthan. Uncle asked me about various dishes of Rajasthan. First I told simply, after that uncle came in mood and asked aunt to make Bihari dishes and give me to taste. "unka piyar mujh per baras pada" (the whole affection of them is poured onto me as if they are determined to make me healthy in a day.). And then I was understood by them as if I like to have "Sattu". Really I think in this tough time Gunjan must be with me.

First Kitchen Experience

The day before yesterday, my roommate(Gunjan) went for fast and this is the time for me to try. I asked Gunjan to help me out and then I went on with chopping potatoes for bhujia and kneaded the flour to make dough for chapatis. Now most awaited time come that is to make chapatis and to make subji. Now I called Gunjan, but he slept. Now what to do? I said my self do not drop arms and go ahead. Well bravely I started. Now one more coincidence come together that is Amit Chauhan and Ranjit Rajak. As they saw me cooking food there hunger arose. Now the dinner which is going to be appropriate for one person had to be shared by three.
now I leave onto you for the circuminstances to pray for the prey of GOD.

Banglored

In US someone is said to be Banglored if he has lost his job because his work has been outsourced to Banglore or to some other city of India.

--August 2005 Readers Digest

Is that a fear we are creating!

There is one more word now in US Shanghied means kidnapped.